Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Put A Ring On It

In case you have forgotten, the most over-hyped love holiday of the year is just a few days away: Valentine's Day.  It is also a date when many couples get engaged.

Travis and I did not get engaged on Valentine's Day.  If he would have chosen that date to propose I would have probably said "What?!  No, ask me again tomorrow!"

But then again, I did help pick out what would become my engagement ring and knew when he purchased it prior to the proposal, so the lack of surprise was already there.  I didn't care, I was going to get engaged!

Ahhh, young love.

July 2005 - The day he put a ring on it.

Anyways, I have never really understood all of hoopla, but receiving gifts is not my love language.  If I want something that bad I will go buy it for myself, thankyouverymuch!

Maybe our eight years of marriage have lowered my expectations, but I don't recall either Travis or myself going overboard to purchase gifts for Valentine's Day.  It is difficult now to purchase the other one gifts because we share all of our checking and credit card accounts...or that is Travis's excuse (ha!).

We typically have not made the effort to go out to eat either, but have on occasion.  My favorite Valentine's Day date was last year when we went to lunch at Granite City in the big city of Fargo.

Let me tell you, lunch dates are the BEST!  You don't have to get a babysitter because the kids are already at daycare, the crowds are minimal, and the menu prices are not jacked up yet like they do for the evening meal!

Will someone please get me an AARP card, ASAP?

Let's just say we are comfortable in our relationship, which is an asset when farming is your occupation.  In fact, we are so comfortable that neither of us wear our wedding rings anymore.  GASP!

Photo by Betsy Cole

Now, before you starting thinking that our marriage is doomed, please let me explain...

1) Wearing a ring, or any other type of jewelry for that matter, when you work around machinery is a safety hazard.
It is a good way to loose a finger, or potentially get electrocuted and burned.  I'd say that the vast majority of farmers do not wear their ring while working, and many just put them in safe keeping 24/7.

2) Wearing a ring is a safety hazard to young children.
Do you want to know what it sounds like the first time you go to burp your baby with your ring on?!  Trust me, you don't.  Any parent will take their ring off real quick for fear that they bruised their baby's back.  Then the ring is sitting out waiting to get lost or for the older sibling to come along and eat it.
Also, rings with set stones are sharp!  I have scratched my kids by accident on more than one occasion from those prongs.  It would make a great weapon if I ever needed to attack someone, but not my kids!

3)  Having children does things to your body.
Okay, I know that I was not the only pregnant woman to have to stop wearing her ring because of the wonderful things that pregnancy does to your body.  I can't remember what month throughout the pregnancy I had to stop wearing it, but I do recall feeling like my fingers were stuffed sausages.
In fact, they still do.  Maybe it is the three pregnancies combined, or the fact that I still have to loose some of the baby weight.  For whatever reason my ring does not fit properly.  I'm thinking it is a half size off, and I have no plans to try to get it resized.

So there you have it.  Travis and I don't wear our wedding rings.  We are not concerned what other people think about it - the points are valid.  We will always keep our rings, but they do not define our marriage.

Photo by Betsy Cole

To all of the future farmwives, don't be mad if he doesn't put a ring on it.  He may be just trying to keep all his digits.  And you might eventually feel that way too.


P.S. If you do get engaged, congratulations!


  1. I love this!! I obviously wear mine because I work off the farm but when I do help out I always take my rings off.
    Steve never wears his unless we go to special events, in that case it is our joke to ask if he wants to be married to me that day ;-)

    1. When we first moved to the farm, I would try to put my ring on at least when I went to town...that didn't last long. I just dug mine out of its hiding place just to make sure it was still there.